Watching Over You
by OfficiallyChristopher
Summary: Dan was a lonely soul trying to convince himself it was okay, Phil was an angel that loved his human so much he left heaven to make it all okay. High school AU
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: This story contains aspects of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, bullying, homophobia, and parental negligence. Read at your own discretion. I'd like to thank +Connie Lol whose youtube comment I got the idea from.- Christopher**

Dan Howell was never really popular. In grade school, he was always either alone or the friend no one noticed. Come middle school, he just thought everyone was too damn stupid to even bother with, and no one really bothered him. Everything was right in his world. A little lonely at times, sure, but he was okay with that. He figured that in high school, people would get it together and he'd be comfortable talking with them. He had never been more wrong.

His best bet in high school was to just lay low. Don't speak, don't cry, don't defend. Only a month into freshman year, he learned to be invisible. Rumors had spread around the school that he was mute, and then that he was deaf, and then that he was retarded. Then everyone just stopped caring. And so did he. He didn't have any friends. And he convinced himself he was okay with that.

"Oi, faggot!" A young man yelled at Dan across the hall. The brick building was full to the brim of boring assholes with nothing better to do than learn new ways to use gay slurs. Dan had to admit, there had been times when the insults where rather creative. This was not one of those times.

Dan sighed and ignored whoever the dimwitted pupil was that yelled at him. He grabbed his small lunch and headed outside. He didn't care for the loud, crowded lunchroom. Screaming teenage voices echoed off the walls and it smelled like sweat, cheap perfume, and shitty food. Not many kids went outside during break, because it was typically too rainy for them. So Dan went out there, along with the stoners and the emo kids. Dan used to wonder where he fit in. It didn't take too long for him to realize he didn't. He didn't have the traits of any particular group. He figured that he was just better off that way.

Dan's favorite spot was in the branches of maple tree far away from everyone else. It was especially beautiful now, in the fall, with hundreds of multicolored leaves above his head, swaying in the wind. From here he could see the entire campus, and all the buildings and roads around it. He was lucky to have this spot. The sounds of the city helped him think, which sometimes ended in he just pondering the inevitability of death and how eventually everything around him will be completely forgotten to other times, he dreams of what his future might be. Maybe one day, he'll have a job the he loves, a beautiful wife or husband, and 1 or 2 amazing children. Or maybe it'll just always be this way. Maybe he'll never find love, or friendship, or real happiness. Maybe he can convince himself that's how it's supposed to be, even then. He hoped his life would change, but he didn't really expect it to.

Before Dan knew, the lunch bell rang and it was time for him to drag himself back into a crammed classroom.

Dan sat in his normal spot for Algebra 2, everyone's favorite class. All kinds of teens filed through the door into their normal seats. Dan didn't pay much attention to them, he was too busy doodling mindlessly in his notebook. He was in his own mind when a voice pulled him away from his drawing.

"What was that?" Dan asked, looking up at whoever chose to speak to him. He was met by bright blue eyes, a slight smirk, and dorky glasses. He knew everyone in the class by name, whether or not they knew him, and he'd never seen this face.

"Is someone sitting here?" The boy said with a slight northern accent. He sounded almost excited. Dan didn't know why. School wasn't the most exciting thing in the world.

"Oh, um, no. I don't think so." Dan replied, returning to his doodling. The boy sat down and turned to Dan.

"I'm Phil." He introduced himself, holding out his hand. Dan looked away from his notebook once again. Phil seemed friendly enough, but, as much as he wanted to, Dan knew not to get too comfortable with that.

"Dan." He shook Phil's outstretched hand awkwardly. He hoped the conversation would end there. He didn't want to accidentally make an enemy or something.

"It's really easy to get lost at this school." Phil commented, insisting that the conversation continue. Dan sighed. He had to socialize now.

"I mean if you don't know where you're going, then yeah, it is." Dan responded, not really feeling up to small talk.

"I thought that I was going to accidentally end up walking into Narnia, or somehow die some kind of horrific Final Destination style death with a locker crushing me." Phil joked, chuckling a little at his own joke. Dan smiled, against his own wishes. A glimmer of hope shone in the back of his mind, all because of this Phil guy.

"Oh no, you'd have to go in a closet to find Narnia." Dan teased, suddenly enjoying Phil's company.

"Really? I used to live in a closet. You'd assume I would've at least seen Narnia." He laughed, almost nervously. Dan could tell that Phil was comfortable giving this information, but was probably worried about what he would say. Dan chuckled.

"Maybe you should've tried a wardrobe then." Dan suggested. He saw Phil visibly relax when he said this.

"Hey, do you think you can show me around the school sometime? Like, maybe afterschool? I'd rather not get lost again" Phil asked as the teacher walked in.

"Sure. I don't see-" Dan started before the teacher cut him off.

"Sorry I'm late, kids. I had to print out some worksheets and the printer stopped working. Anyway, we have a new student. Phillip, would you like to introduce yourself." the middle aged woman asked. Phil stood up and all eyes went to him. He smiled before introducing himself to the class.

"My name Phil." He stated cheerfully, before sitting back down. The class went back to their phones, all except for Dan.

"And something about you, dear" The woman explained in her Yorkshire accent. A few eyes turned to Phil, but many stopped caring already.

"Oh, I like flying." Phil smirked naturally. The teacher seemed this was good enough and got right into the lesson. Dan doodled the entire time, but there were times when he felt like someone was watching him. Whenever he looked up, Phil quickly looked over to the clock on an opposite wall. Dan figured Phil was just being weird so he brushed it off and kept doodling. Soon enough the bell ran and students rushed out the door to their next class. Dan was walking out the door, when a northern accent called him.

"Dan!" Phil called, running to catch up to the teen.

Dan spun around to face him, stopping in the middle of the hallway. Phil had almost caught up to him when his feet decided to trip over themselves. He fell to the floor with a loud thump. His books and notebooks sprawled out onto the floor. Dan rushed over to help the boy. He set down his books and began helping Phil pick up his. Phil got up to his knees and started gathering his stuff.

"Are you okay?" Dan asked, handing Phil some of his books. People in the hallway went around them, only a few yelling stupid things.

"Yeah, I'm really clumsy. I fall quite a bit." Phil commented, grabbing pencils and some papers. Dan suddenly became concerned when a drop of blood fell to the ground. He looked up and saw crimson blood streaming from the boy's nose.

"Phil, your nose is bleeding." Dan said, handing Phil his books and standing up, reaching down to help his new friend off the ground.

Phil stood and held his hand to his nose, trying to stop the blood.

"It's nothing." He smiled. The boys continued walking, both certain they'd be late to class now.

"What's your next class?" Phil asked, both rushing now. Phil followed Dan as he turned into a hallway, figuring he'd be literally lost without him.

"AP Econ. You?"

"Same."

"Follow me then." Dan commanded. The boys ran down a couple hallways before coming to a locked door. Phil raised a fist to knock, but before he could touch the door, Dan grabbed his wrist.

"What are you doing?" Phil questioned, confused. Dan looked around for any teachers. Seeing none he leaned in to Phil's ear and whispered,

"Do you really want to go to Econ?" Phil thought about it for a minute. Dan could see his conflict as he hesitated to answer. Before the boy could come to his conclusion, Dan heard footsteps down the hall. He grabbed Phil's arm and they bolted.

Their feet padded against the linoleum floor. By the time they reached a safe place, both the teens were gasping for air. Dan turned the knob of an oak door and slipped in. Phil stood outside, looking around, dazed and lost.

"You coming?" Dan offered, holding the door open for the other boy. Phil glanced towards where they had come from, then back to Dan.

"Sure." He said worriedly before joining Dan in the small room.

The room was small and windowless. The dim walls were painted an off white, and were free of any decoration. Wooden desk lined the walls, stacked precariously on top of each other. The room was nearly pitch black, save for a corner near the back with what seemed to be the only working light, which glowed a dim, yellow light. The chalkboard in the front of the class was covered in dust and crudely drawn penises. The teacher's desk was rusted and looked like it had been rummaged through recently. Candy wrappers and crisps bags littered the floor. It looked like a classroom out of the apocalypse.

"Whoa, very spooky." Phil commented, setting his books down and pulling a cloth out of his pocket to clean up his still bleeding nose. He ran his fingers over the desks, wiping away layers of dust.

"Yeah. It's been like this ever since I got here. I'm not the only one that uses it, obviously." Dan explained, sitting on the floor and pulling a note book out of his bag. Phil sat next to him, still covering his nose. The two sat in silence for a moment before Phil spoke again

"Where are you from?" He asked. His voice filled the silence of the dim room.

"Wokingham. It's about 50 kilometers from London. You probably haven't heard of it. What about you?" Dan replied, writing in his notebook.

Phil stared at his hands blankly after Dan asked this. An electric hum filled the air as both the boys grew silent. Dan noticed Phil's sudden discomfort. He looked over to the other boy. The cheerful boy acted as though Dan had just shot him. Awkwardly, Dan placed hand on his shoulder, attempting to comfort him slightly.

"I don't know where I'm from." Phil muttered, still staring at his pale hands. Dan observed the teen. He bright blue eyes were blank, his face almost emotionless, as if he was trying to be cold. Maybe he was. Maybe he was scared to cry in front of Dan. They had just met after all. Dan wondered what he was supposed to do. He had never had someone actually treat him like a person. He didn't know what he was doing when he wrapped his arms around Phil and hugged him. It was one of the most uncomfortable things Dan had ever done, but it felt right somehow.

Phil hesitated, confused, before returning the hug. Dan pulled away, feeling incredibly awkward, but he smiled at Phil. Phil made him feel something he'd never felt before. For the first time in his life, Dan felt loved.


	2. Chapter 2

**Not related to the story, this is just a blurb before the story about what happened in Orlando. 103 men and women were gunned down senselessly by a hateful man. It was a disgusting act of homophobia. My heart goes out to the friends and families of those killed, as well as those surviving victims. Love is love and hate will never win. - Christopher**

The two became fast friends after that. They were almost always talking in class, when they had class together. Phil had made a few friends other then Dan and, thanks to that, Dan had finally made some friends in school. Dan and Phil were inseparable. Wherever Phil went, Dan was sure to be following, muttering something about wanting to stay home. Phil never listened though, because Dan always had fun when he was forced to a social event. They were so close, they even lived together. After Dan found out Phil didn't have a home, he made sure his friend was safe under his roof.

"How come you didn't tell me you were homeless?" Dan gasped, shocked that he somehow didn't know this about his best friend. Phil just shrugged and stared at his feet. Dan wasn't having that though.

"I thought you said you were in a foster home! What happened?" Dan continued, suddenly worried about his friend. Phil looked around anxiously.

"I dunno." He murmured, avoiding Dan's eyes.

"Bullshit! What happened? Why didn't you tell me?" Dan asked, placing his hand on Phil's waist, pulling the older boy closer to him. Phil sighed and backed away, not believing he deserved Dan's touch. Dan figured maybe yelling wasn't the best choice.

"Angel bean, why didn't you tell me you were homeless?" Dan's voice was calmer, comforting almost. He allowed Phil to have his distance, even though he wanted to grab his friend and hug him, just to apologize.

"I didn't want you to worry about me." Phil shrugged. He didn't know what to say. He never thought that being homeless was that big of a deal, he was living just fine on his own. Sure, he was cold some nights, and some days he went hungry, but it could be worse. He couldn't see the tears welling in Dan's eyes, but he could feel his distress.

"Phil, I-" Dan started, his voice caught in his throat.

"I'm sorry." Phil apologized, trying not to cry. He never wanted to make Dan upset. He knew he was a burden to almost everyone, but the last thing he wanted to do was become one to Dan. Yet here he was, hurting his friend, just by existing.

"Shut up. You don't have to be sorry. I do. I'm sorry." Dan objected. He wiped away the tears rolling down his cheek.

"Dan, it's not-"

"My best friend isn't gonna be homeless. You're moving in with me." Dan said. Phil looked up, shocked. Dan was being serious. He could tell. Somehow, even after hurting him, Dan still wanted Phil.

"You don't have to do that." Phil was crying now. Dan laughed awkwardly and wrapped his arms around his friend.

"Quiet, you walnut. You're staying with me and you have no say in this." He demanded, his hands clutching the other boys white shirt. Phil smiled and nuzzled his face into the crook of Dan's neck. He didn't care that he was crying anymore.

"OK."

* * *

Dan was never really big on partying. He saw it in movies and read about it, but it never had any real appeal to him. It was just something that people did that he never got invited to. And he was okay with that. Staying in sounded more interesting the human interaction. Phil, however, thought partying sounded fun. Not the getting wasted and high then going off to have sex with strangers. No, that sounded horrific. He just enjoyed other people's company. And he wanted Dan to see that social interaction isn't all bad. And that's how Dan ended up in this situation.

It hadn't been like the movies. It was worse. The alcohol was cheap and the girls were cheaper. Sweaty, drunk teenagers were everywhere. Making out on the couch, staggering to the shitty music, throwing up in the bathroom.

Oh yeah, Dan was having loads of fun.

Of course, losing Phil had only made his distaste for his current predicament worse. He did'nt know how he was able to lose the 6 foot tall baguette of awkward energy. He knew hardly anyone here, and he had no hope of meeting anyone with Phil here. If he was honest, he didn't even know how to talk to anyone other the Phil and his brother. But if he wanted to find Phil, he'd have to learn.

"Or I could get shit faced." Dan contemplated, addressing his internal monologue out loud. He nodded. Yeah, that worked too.

So now here he was, drunk and horny, and this was a problem, but he did't care. He wanted to find Phil as soon as he could, but anyone could come onto him and easily distract him in the best kind of way. But as luck would have it, his knight in a yellow hoodie showed up just before he went over to go hit up some pretty girls.

"Dan, there you are! Sorry I left you, some girl wanted to talk to me and then I couldn't find you and- are you drunk?" Phil asked. Dan was a red faced, giggling, stumbling mess. He had lipstick stains on his face and smelt of cheap beer and sweat. He looked horrible. He had lost his usual intelligent air and replaced it with a drunken stupor. Dan chuckled, like the question was some kind of absurd joke.

"Nope, I'm fucking great actually." Dan giggled beer spilling onto his black t shirt. Phil grabbed the cup from his hand and pulled him along.

"We're leaving right now." Phil commanded, dragging the drunk teen behind felt someone grab his butt aggressively. He whipped around to see the perpetrator.

"What the hell?!" He shouted, shocked. He didn't think Dan thought of him like that. And he certainly didn't think Dan was the type to take what he wanted. Must be the alcohol.

Before Phil even knew what was happening, Dan's mouth was on his, the taste of alcohol flooding his mouth. It wasn't magical in anyway. It was sloppy and wet and dirty. Phil yelped when Dan's tongue slipped into his mouth and pushed the boy off of him.

"Stop it! You're drunk!" Phil shouted, trying to convince himself that he didn't enjoy the kiss. Dan struggled to stand, using Phil to pull himself up.

"But..." Dan pouted.

"We are leaving right now." Phil ordered, once again grabbing Dan's wrist and dragging him out of the overcrowded party. He tried his hardest to block out jeers of "Fag" and "Gaylord". He hoped that Dan was too drunk to pay attention to what they were saying, he doubted it though.

The cold winter air hit the boys like a train. Phil had gotten used to being cold, but he was worried about Dan, whose jacket was soaked. He pulled Dan close to him and wrapped his own coat around both of them. Dan shivered and curled up to him.

"You're really warm, you know that?" Dan slurred, his arms wrapped around Phil's waist. Phil smiled faintly, nodding.

"Yeah, I've gotten that." It was silent for a bit, as the two teens braved their way to their apartment.

"I fucking hate parties." Dan muttered angrily. Phil couldn't tell but that he could here the other boy choke back a sob.

"You don't have to go next time then. Sorry I made you go." Phil apologized, giving Dan's arm a comforting squeeze.

"I hate everyone there. They're all fucking twats. Just a bunch of fucking vain slut and mindless athletes. Fucking chavs." Dan spat, his voice cracking towards the end. Phil stared. He had never seen this kind of anger in Dan, never this kind of pain. It was so deep he felt it in his own bones.

"Don't you think that's a bit harsh?" Phil said carefully. Tears rolled down Dan's cheeks as his face burned with anger.

"You don't understand. They've made my life fucking hell! Have you ever had a fucking textbook thrown at your head? I never had friends! No one even talked to me for three years straight! You don't get it! I've tried to fucking kill myself because of them! So, no I don't think I'm being a little harsh." Dan shouted, his face red with anger and his eyes bloodshot with tears. Phil fought back tears of his own, feeling Dan's pain as if it were his own.

"I'm so lonely, and it's all their fault." Dan whispered, his voice soft now. Phil's heart sank when Dan uttered those words. There was nothing he could do to fix this. Dan clung to Phil like a life line and the two walked in solemn silence as Phil practically carried Dan home.


	3. Chapter 3

Phil sat on the edge of Dan's bed, making sure he didn't die of alcohol poisoning during the night. He didn't mind watching over him. He's seen Dan through his best and worst, and Dan would never know. He couldn't. He might hate Phil if he found out. And Dan was the only person Phil was made for.

He was beautiful now, as he always had been. His soul shone so brightly, in the most glorious shade of blue Phil had ever known. The same color as Phil's own eyes. They say the eyes hold the soul, well Phil's eyes held Dan's. He was so fortunate to be granted one of the purest humans in existence. Phil knew Dan was perfect from the start. When he first saw the beautiful soul his eyes took their color and he instantly fell in love. It was his job to protect this human.

And he did a shit job of it too. Over the years Dan's soul had fluctuated in the most unhealthy way. It had gone from heavenly blue, to red, to green, to black, to brown, and when Phil fell it was clear. Almost like it had disappeared completely. It had been Phil that had nursed Dan's soul back into existence. It had returned to it's natural blue. It was far less vibrant, but just as bright, just as beautiful.

Dan had needed someone that was more experienced than Phil, someone that would've been able to handle his problem without getting attached, but there was no one in heaven anyone could possibly love Dan more. Phil had sacrificed everything to save Dan, and he'd do it a thousand times over if that meant Dan would be safe.

Yes, he loved Dan more than life itself.

He remembered watching Dan like this from heaven. He remembered how sad the boy was. How many times had he gone to his elders? How many times had he begged for help only to hear a no from a merciless mass of aged angels? That was when Phil realized that his father no longer cared for humans, had long since given up trying to stop their wars. He was the last angel that cared.

He was created alongside Dan, with the sole purpose to protect him. He saw that little, blue creature crying out from the agony of living, and Phil reached out and soothed the boy with his voice. And he saw those big brown eyes against that shimmering soul and he was beautiful. That was the only way to describe him. Beautiful. There was no sin to be seen in him. All children are born pure of course, but an angel could tell if a soul was gonna go bad. And Phil knew instantly that was almost impossible for the beautiful human.

And yet his soul had come so close.

Everyday he wanted so badly to reach out and touch him, to protect him. Dan was not just his charge. He loved him. More than an angel should love a human.

There were rules. All angels followed them by default. Angels were mechanical, unfeeling by nature. There was no nurturing instinct to be found in them. Phil was an outcast. There was a fault in his system that made him feel human. He was more human than any of the other angels. It's why he fell.

He fell for falling in love.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning was a flurry of vomiting, headaches, and regret for Dan. He woke up and was greeted by painfully blinding light, which considering it was early morning, was rather dim, but it was like staring into the sun for Dan. He stumbled out of his tiny bedroom into the living room and was met by tired blue eyes and a worried frown.

"Dan, are you okay?" Phil rushed over to him, attempting to lead him towards the couch.

"Gonna be sick." Dan mumbled before hurrying off to the bathroom.

Phil was tempted to follow him into the bathroom to make sure he was okay, but decided that maybe that wouldn't be the best thing. The teen instead opted to make his friend ginger tea to help his stomach.

Dan sat in the bathroom, his head plunged in the toilet bowl, getting rid of anything he might've eaten last night. He cursed himself for being so careless last night. He never thought he'd be the guy that gets shitfaced at a high school party, but here he is, paying the price of drinking the pain away. That's all he was trying to do. Let that amber guilt be his holy water for one night of forgetting. Forgetting how awful he is. Forgetting the friends he never had growing up, the father he never had, the mother that worked too hard, the childhood he was never allowed. Forget it all for a single night, sell your soul to vodka and emptiness. Vomit up all your pain the next day so it's all in the open. Wash, rinse, repeat til the nights and mornings blur and your liver begs for mercy. Dan saw the path he was going down and he longed for it, because compared to the pain in his heart, the pain in his head was nothing.

 **Short chapter I know. I've been busy, I promise the next one will be longer- Christopher**


End file.
